No Time to Live

It is Tuesday morning; I am cycling to class. The church bell strikes 10:45 and I experience a déjà vu. The day before, I cycled past this church at that exact time. Today is a new day, but it feels exactly the same as yesterday. What was I doing yesterday? Did I spend my time wisely? As a young woman in my 20s, I feel like there is still plenty of time to do everything that I desire. But is there really enough time? Suddenly, I start feeling stressed and uneasy. Every second is just passing by, and I cannot do anything about it. I want to pause time and take a moment to appreciate life. Would it not be great if that was possible? To take a breath, look around, and genuinely recharge the body and mind.

Once arrived in class, I browse through Harper’s Bazaar November 2020 issue. What strikes me is the reference to time on almost every page. Fashion seasons, watches, horoscopes, time to travel, time to make a career, time to shine, no time to die…

Looking closer into the magazine, barely any women are featured who are over the age of 50. Out of the 240 women in the magazine, at most 14 women are 50-plus years old. The only interview with a woman ‘of age’ is with the stylist and designer Lucinda Chambers. Her wrinkles are not faded, in comparison with the other 13 “elderly” women. Next to her article is an advertisement about ageing cream.[1] The combination of the article and this ad can hardly be coincidental.

On the contrary, British Vogue dedicated an entire issue to women over the age of 50 called the ‘Non-Issue’ issue. It came out in May 2019. In the magazine, they speak of age discrimination in the beauty and fashion world.[2] When women over 50 are featured, their wrinkles are extremely photoshopped. The faces of these women look like dolls, and we are made to believe that an ageing cream can achieve this. The message of most of these magazines seems to be that when you are not young and beautiful, you have no sexuality. The ageing cream is a very important tool in a woman’s life, so it seems.[3] The true value of the Non-Issue can be argued however, as British Vogue continues to contribute to age discrimination: after the Non-Issue, you can expect issues full of young and thus ‘sexual’ women again.

Back to the Harper’s Bazaar November 2020 issue. Looking at the references to time within this magazine, they all seem to relate to self-improvement: the urge to fix every minor detail of our entire being. The main goal seems to be happy. Over the last two decades, happiness has been what we aspire massively.[4] We can, however question if all those standards we make ourselves live up to, really have this effect; the time it takes to get a better fashion sense, a better job, or look more beautiful is rather stressful. Along the way of optimising our lives, we realise that we need to spend time on ourselves as well. Thinking about your job 24/7 isn’t improving the quality of your work, as your body is incapable of working for so long. The advice? Make time to recharge your body by, for instance, meditate, take a walk, paint. However, optimising your body is presented as something only in order to optimise your work; hence, self-optimisation can also be described as self-exploitation.[5]  While we are walking down this road, we constantly think about what should make us happy, instead of focussing on what already does. The road to happiness is one full of frustration, failure and unease. [6]  The road to happiness is one full of frustration, failure and unease.

Why not embrace ageing and the people who have wrinkles? Why not see the wrinkles as proof of living and having lived life? Listen to the stories of how women over 50 conquered the male world, where they travelled to, how they perceive life and happiness. We might feel more relaxed when we realize that also after 50, you can achieve great things. We do not need to rush. You are not dead, you are still working, getting that career, travelling to the furthest places on earth, or not at all. Maybe you are relaxing, enjoying life day by day, doing what you love. Unbothered by what you are expected to do and only doing what you consider important. Self-help advice is always focussed on making time to improve you mental and physical state; to make you feel happier. We should not want to achieve happiness; we should embrace the things that already make us happy already.

[1] Harper’s Bazaar (November 2020). London: Hearst, p. 71 – 75.
[2] Diner, J. (2019).  British Vogue & L’Oréal Paris Present The Non-Issue Issue [Online] Available from:  https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/british-vogue-loreal-paris-present-the-non-issue-issue. [Accessed: 10-12-2020].
[3] Kilbourne, J. (2014). ‘The Dangerous Ways Ads See Women ‘ in TEDxLafayetteCollege. [Online video]. 8 May 2014. Available from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uy8yLaoWybk&ab_channel=TEDxTalks. [Accessed: 10-12-2020].
[4] Eder, S. (2015). ‘The Dark Side of Self Improvement’ in TEDxWilmington. [Online video]. 30 November 2015. Available from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wljRiAofFJ8&ab_channel=TEDxTalks. [Accessed: 10-12-2020].
[5] Hal, B. C.  (2017). Psychopolitics: Neoliberalism and New Technologies of Power. London: Verso.
[6] Segal, L. (2017). Radical Happiness Moments of Collective Joy. London: Verso.